We all are faced with tough situations one way or another. Whether it's a break up, the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or even a life changing health diagnosis. It's HOW we deal with these situations that really sets the tone for what's next to come. You may feel angry, sad, depressed, or worse. And sure, it's okay to feel down. We should be able to feel, I mean really feel, without bottling up our feelings (because that's never a good idea). But at some point, the only way to move forward, to really move on, you have to work on your mind. Here are some tips when the going gets tough, and you need to keep on going.
You have to allow yourself to open your mind and body, and to take in what's happening. So often, we want to put on a tough face, act as if it doesn't affect us, and move on with life. When we do this, these negative thoughts just sit there inside us, like a parasite, just eating away at our being. The negative thoughts and feelings will continue to affect our mood as well as our health, if we don't stop and allow ourselves to feel it.
I learned this when I was dealing with my anxiety disorder years ago. I did everything I could to avoid situations that would cause me anxiety so as not to feel that horrible feeling of complete panic. It wasn't until my therapist told me, the best way to move through the feelings, was to allow them to come, and acknowledge them. Almost like a wave, you have to let the negative, hurt, sad, angry feelings come, and actually feel them. It won't feel good, and it's not easy (trust me, I know!). But the only true way to begin, is to feel.
You are not alone in this world, and you are not alone in whatever situation may be plaguing you right now. Friends, family, co-workers, therapists, heck, even a pet can be there for you when you're down. Sometimes when it's just me, myself, and I, my mind can really keep me in a dark place. One thing that can change that is to spend some time with a friend. Talk it out, get your mind off of it, or just really let it all out and tell them what you're feeling. Having that other person (or animal) there to listen can really help the continuation of the feel, and moving through the feel. I find that when I talk it out, or confide in someone else, I don't feel as alone in the situation, which in turn makes me feel a bit more positive.
So after you've felt the feels, and talked it through this next step is critical. You must choose to change your mindset. It's not healthy to be in a negative mindset, nor does it feel good if you're thinking or talking negative all the time. The best thing you can do for your mind, body and health is to start living with a positive mindset. Just as a cynical mindset can hurt our actual health, a positive outlook can heal our health. You have 2 choices when presented a situation. You can be the Debbie Downer, and be all "woe is me" which will just continue to perpetuate negativity around you. Or you can choose to move forward with a positive mind, which will in turn create more positivity around you.
You may be thinking, "this chick is crazy." But hear me out.
When I was diagnosed with MDS, I chose positivity. Since the doctor had mentioned it in a previous visit, I had some time to google since I had never heard of MDS before. The websites I came across were scary. The prognosis of typical MDS patients was scary. I had to sit back and have a little heart to heart with myself because I was no where near ready to read what *could* be my diagnosis. Now, sure, that night and the next few nights after that, I cried. "Why me?" I thought. "But I'm so young!" "What do I do now?" "What if he says I do indeed have MDS?" All these thoughts and more went through my mind. "I have a 5 year old daughter. She will not lose her mama!" That last thought was extremely eye opening, and really a game changer in my mind. I started researching and taking in any and all information I could about traditional treatments for MDS, alternative treatments, and everything in between. Armed with the knowledge I gained, and the mindset I *choose*, I went to my follow up appointment, where I found out that indeed, I do have MDS.
I actually left that appointment, empowered and smiling. I'm not sure how many other people leave the doctor's office with a smile after they've been diagnosed with a life changing diagnosis. You see, I was empowered because I already chose to heal and overcome this. I know in every inch of my being, that I will overcome this. I was smiling because through all my research, I found so much hope, that this is merely a starting point in this new chapter of my life.
Find your why.
Yes, that's supposed to say why, not way. Finding your why is so important. Once you choose your positive mindset, you must find that thing that pulls you through no matter what. For me, my why is to be there for my daughter, at every one of her milestones in life. That "why" is so powerful that every second I start to drift back into a darker thought, it can pull me right out of there and put me back on the right path. It may take time to find your why, but once you do, it is such a powerful thing and will keep you moving forward, not back.
Your mind is incredibly powerful, and you get to choose what it can do for you! The most powerful tool we have is our mind, so don't use it to saboteur yourself. Use it to your advantage. That's why it's there.